Life On Earth
Revolutionary Obesity Cure Passes The Monkey Test
Because of all the awesome stuff we can do indoors, like World of Warcraft, Face and of course Educated Earth, it's no wonder obesity is a huge problem plaguing North America. Scientists at the University of Texas, which ironically falls just short of the top 10 fattest states in the US, have successfully tested a potential obesity cure on monkeys.
Most obesity supplements work by altering eating patters and helping burn fat during a workout. This new medicine, however, works from the inside in a way that may seem slightly alarming to some. It has a homing agent that attaches itself to the fatty acids' source of blood and kills the blood cells, effectively cutting the supply of blood to fatty tissues.
The drug was first tested on mice, and now it has moved on to apes. The substance was tested on chimps that got out of shape by overeating and not exercising. They saw reductions in body weight, body mass index and even waistline measurements. It's noteworthy that this drug has passed the monkey stage, because this is where a lot of experimental drugs fail.
Thankfully, there were no adverse side effects observed in the primate test subjects, either physical or mental. As the old saying goes, no animals were harmed in the making of this experimental drug.
Written by: Denis Ivanov
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